50 and focused

Good-bye K.C.

2007-06-29T20:45:00.000-07:00

Today was a sad day for the Hartzell family. K.C our kitty cat of 16 plus years is gone. We were all here Russ, Matt, Ash, and I. Russ purchased K.C. for Ashley for her 6th birthday. He was so scared that first day. It took awhile but soon he was a part of the family. He lived in the country with us in Washington and was always bringing schrews, snakes and birds to the garage door. He could really be fisty when he wanted, and he wanted alot!!! He made it through the moves, the coyotes, the streets and traffic and everything else that could have taken him. Recently we had noticed him losing weight very rapidly and Ash knew there wasn't much time. She let us all know through e-mail that she would decide when and she would do it here at the house. Ash is a veterinary technician and has taken down many animals but never one she loved so much. Our brave, courageous daughter gave her kitty a sedative to start after holding him for an hour or so. I could see her hesitation, trying to do what was necessary. And then through her tears my precious child pumped her kitty full of the pink liquid that works so well. It didn't take long and our K.C. was gone. I've never seen so much courage as I saw tonight. My baby girl took her kitty in her arms and sobbed, we all did. We took paw prints because she wants to get a tatoo. K.C. was Ashe's first pet, and no matter what she and him had a bond. She loved him deeply and she gave him a precious, precious gift, peace at last. I asked the Lord tonight that if he takes any kittie's to heaven that K.C. will be one of them. We will miss you our big fluffy orange kitty. We loved you so.........

New Laundry room and machines!!!!!!

2007-05-23T18:33:00.000-07:00

I have such a great hubby. You may say I'm spoiled but I don't care, your'e all just jealous!!!!!!!!! For Mother's Day he got me a new washer and dryer. Not just any washer and dryer, but the new LG washer and dryer. They are only rated #1! And those of you that know me won't be surprised by this, they are bright red!!! Tim my daughter's boyfriend and his friend Cody painted the laundry room last week-end BRIGHT yellow. I don't get my machines until Saturday but I can't wait to see them in that room. My laundry room is so cute now! Some of you may say, well that's really romantic, but isn't it when they were the only thing I really wanted? And besides on Mother's Day week-end Russ, Sammy, and I went Rv'ing in Ilwaco Washington. Tim and Ash came and spent Friday night with us and we had a great time. They have a precious puppy store there and Russ took me there 4 times so I could get exactly what I wanted. And the whole week-end he wouldn't let me cook or do anything, he waited on me hand and foot, now that's romantic!! So, eat your heart's out ladies. I do have an amazingly blessed life and family. And by the way, belated Mother's Day to you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blah, yuck, blah

2007-04-24T12:43:00.000-07:00

Today is not such a good day. I'm just feeling crummy. No energy, no spark, knees KILLING ME, and overall Blah. I have been living and suffering with osteoarthritis in both my knees now for close to 7 years. I probably had it before that but not to the degree it is now. I need knee replacements in both of them. There is no other option for relief. Joints are gone, bone to bone, etc., etc., etc. There is alot more than one problem with this. There are techniques, new techniques, for replacing knees. New strides, new technology, ..... But none of these last more than 10 years. So, after that no walkey anymore. Not an option for me. So, I live in constant sometimes debilitating pain. I am allergic to all the drugs made for knee pain, celebrex, vioxx, bectra, etc. My joints and hands swell up, not fun. My Doctor tells me not to exercise because it will exasberate my symptoms. The one thing I can do is swim, but not really swim, walk up and down in a pool. I tried that once. There were alot of ladies, should I say alot older ladies than myself who were there. I guess when you get to be alot oler you lose your vanity. They all walked around the dressing room naked. They were very nice and would even talk to me, but that was difficult when all that was going through my head was.,"DO your Boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro, ...!' So I keep on keeping on but it's not fun. It is work, hard work and some days to hard. I'm sure alot of you that know me are thinking, lose weight. Face it people I know, I am fat. I am also post menopausal. That means my body has changed dramatically from 5 years ago. Then I could lose weight from watching my diet, or as that evil word goes "Dieting". Not any more. Now it has to do with EXERCISE. Remember what I said a few sentences back, I can't do that. I'm not even supposed to go upstairs which is a little difficult since my bedroom is up there! I don't feel like I am a vain person. I try to look nice, keep my hair and nails up, dress appropiately, but I'm unacceptable in the main stream because of my weight. People probably perceive me as lazy maybe even stupid. I don't feel I am either of those things, I just hurt, ALOT. I don't usually complain about this but today is a different day. I want those who care to know about me and my life, and those who don't so be it. There are those of you who may think this is a cop-out, or an excuse, but you don't really know me then. I have a good life, a blessed life. A husband of 27 years and counting. You may ask, how did we do it? Commitment and GOD, mostly God. There have been to many ups and downs to even remember but that strength from our Father has kept us together. And our beautiful children. I know all parents are proud of their kids but I have to admit, I have GREAT kids. They are smart, funny, loving, compassionate, realistic and down to earth. They both love the Lord and are commited to Him. They have both gone through school, graduated at the top of their classes, and are now pursuing careers because of their achievements. I Love them both so much and I am so, so proud. And I have a beautiful home, financial security, and a hope of eternity with my Saviour. So, why do I feel crappy today. Oh yea, it's that human thing I just can't get away from it. Is anyone else feeling really HUMAN today, let me know? We can talk about you instead of me and learn more about each other. Till Then..................

Friends

2007-04-23T18:20:00.000-07:00

I don't know why but today I started thinking about friends, real friends, true friends, forever friends. Do they even exist? I have had many friends over my 50 plus years. Alot have come and gone. Recently I have lost a friend and I don't understand why. She was there one day and gone forever. We didn't fight, we didn't decide to go seperate ways, we just stopped. I thought we were good friends, special friends. The kind of friends that enjoyed each other's company, but I guess not. We would share birthdays have lunch, so I sent her a card one year, a very funny one at that. No response, no card on my day, nothing. It hurt for a long time, ALOT. Now I just wonder why? There are friends who were there for a period and then decided to leave with no explanation, why? There are friends who call every now and then and want to get together but it's hard when you don't see each other enough. I have even had friends who drain me. We get together and it's all about them, their marriage, their kids, their lives. They suck the energy right out of me. I think I am a good friend. I am loyal, I love and care alot, I'm very genrous, and hope I'm there whenever needed. I have no problem admitting the reason for lost friendships is me, but let me know. Don't just leave, OK? If there is anyone who needs a friend. A real honest, share good and bad, laugh and cry kind of friend let me know. Maybe we can start a lasting friendship, if they really exist.

Skiing the back side

2007-04-03T19:25:00.000-07:00

Hi People, I tried to open a neew blog but being the blog geek I am it didn't work. Anywho, lifes definitely had it's ups and downs, I finally lost my mom to Altzheimer's in November. It is so wierd to know that my mamma is in the loving arms of Jesus. It kind of freaks me out ya know. I mean she did it, she went from life to eternal life, amazing. I miss her and always will but I have the promise we will be together again, thank-you Jesus. Our family, especially certain individuals have been through some rough times and personal growth. It's so interesting when you find out that what you thought was true was never true, and who you cared deeply for just used that against you. My family is doing so much better now. I see new love blossoming and new memories will be made. It's RV'ing time again! The hubby turns 51 next week and we, our kids, their significant others, and our puppy will be heading down to the beach to celebrate, good times, yeah!!!!! We through the grace of God, were able to purchase a condo this year as an investment and our daughter is renting it. We couln't have picked a better tenant and it got her out of a tough situation as well. There is nothing better than to be able to help your kids with financial resources, or should I say that God helps them, but knowing we can is priceless. So, on with the year and the new memories. Life's good on the backside!!

I'm Back!!!!!!!

2006-08-13T21:28:00.000-07:00

I was told today by someone who read my blog that I ought to write something new. She said my blogs were quite insightful and honest. That was nice to hear. So anyway, I'll try to be interesting. The newest thing in our lives is an empty nest. Our daughter moved out with a girlfriend about 3 weeks ago. It all happened very quickly. I sort of didn't believe it would happen until it did. It's quite strange when all the sudden the house is very empty. It does stay alot cleaner and the quiet is nice, but the quiet can also be quite deafining. Ashley is the kind of child that enjoyed being home, enjoyed her home, and so she was here quite a bit. I miss her. I miss her presence. Her and I spent alot of time together and I am lonely without her. There were many times I couldn't wait for her to leave, and it's really not that I want her to move back, it's just VERY DIFFERENT. I still see her alot, today we spent the whole day together, but it's still different. Home feels different. It's almost as if it's home but not really anymore. Having been a homemaker and stay home mom both her and Matt's whole life, thanks to Jesus, it forces me to find myself again. Not a bad thing, just different. Who is a mom after she's done her thing and the nest is empty? That is the goal of my life right now to find out who I am and what God's purpose is for me now. Strange, yes, scary, yes, exciting, absolutely, and very very different!!!!!!!!!!

Does anyone really care about this Blog?

2006-05-04T19:12:00.000-07:00

It seems as if this Blog stuff isn't as popular as say "My Space". Maybe there isn't enough flamboyancy or sexual inuendos to make it interesting. Or maybe I should really take it personally and assume that no-one gives a rip about what I have to say?! Come on son you encouraged me to talk more, here I am doing it and have you posted anything on my Blogs? Anyway, I won't post anymore if I don't get any feedback. I don't want to waste mine or anyone else's time. :(

My Son's new place

2006-04-15T09:14:00.000-07:00

Well my son Matt finally has gotten his own apartment. He has had many roomates over the years and decided to go it alone. It helps with hygiene and all thos important things! We all helped him move in last night. My daughter Ashley, his girlfriend Jade and I all went to get him a few things. It was SO MUCH FUN buying towels, rugs, and shower curtains that all match. The best thing of all though was the pride in him. I know he feels so good abouth the fact that he can do this. He went to school, got his degree, and found a great job, and now his own place. There is a sense of pride in a mom as well to see her first born thriving so well on his own. God has been SO GOOD to all of us. Russ and I are so blessed to have such great kids and to see all they are doing. Thank-you Jesus. Back today to get some groceries and help "Refine" the place. This is all such a good thing!

Is the grim reaper near?

2006-04-11T00:21:00.000-07:00

Well, this month is a mind blower. Russ turns 50 tomorrow and Ash turns 20 next Tuesday. At brunch on Sunday Russ told the kids that 50 isn't so bad but 60 will be the killer. You know wrinkles, gray hair if you have any at all, bad eyes, knees, hips and breath, all the good stuff?! I must be in Never, Never land but I thought 60 is when we would be in our rarest form. No more kids in the house (hopefully), retirement, grandbabies, and a lot of other blessings, to many to count. Iv'e thought so much about teaching my Grandchildren about life and the Lord who provides it all. I want to see the excitement in their faces when I teach them about Noah, Moses, Adam and Eve and all the other characters that make up the most important book in the world. I hope Russ was just kidding,I feel like our lives are beginning again, and boy what a ride it will be! Anyone have any thoughts on this, let's talk about them.

MEOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-03-26T09:41:00.000-08:00

Well, it was GREAT as always!! Ashe's reaction was a little different than I thought. She thought there was going to be more of a story line with a plot. I tried to explain that it was just about Cats, a night in the life of. Although she loved the music, she had trouble understanding the words. Oh well, bubble slightly burst. Like so many other things in life the thought of what it could be like is always better than the reality. I loved it though. It always takes me to a different world and I am so amazed by the talent people have. I believe the most beautiful voices in the world are never heard on the radio, but thank God there are other ways to enjoy them. I am now waiting for the musical "Dogs" to come out. I'm sure the star of the show will be a Bichon Frise!!!!!!!

Cats, cats and more cats!!!!

2006-03-25T11:01:00.000-08:00

Well, today is somewhat of a milestone for me. 28 years ago Russ and I were able to attend the opening of "Cats" in San Francisco. It was a magical evening filled with many surprises. When we got there we found out by pure chance that we were in the front row! When the curtain rises on the "cat town" so to speak there are holes in the front of the stage. Much to our surprise the cats crawl through them. Before we knew it we each had a cat pawing us and meowing frantically!! We both laughed so hard it made the evening that much more enjoyable. In fact it was so great we went and saw it again in San Jose. The seats weren't as good the second time but the cat magic sure was! I can remember dreaming that I hoped some day I would be able to share this experience with someone else, possibly my child. Well, tonight that dream is becoming a reality. The Lord is so faithful in remembering the prayers of our hearts. I get to share the experience with my beautiful daughter Ashley. She is a Vet Tech and obviously animals are her passion. Her first pet was our cat KC that she got for her sixth birthday and he still blesses our lives with his meows and purrs. I can't wait to see her face when the stage curtain goes up and the magic begins! So today, while I am home and Russ and Sammy are off hiking, and Ash and Tim are at Multnomah Falls. and Matt is doing his Matt thing, I can sit and dream about the likes of RumTum Tigger and Mr. Mestapholies and know that tonight will be a special and magical evening. As Martha would say," It's A VERY GOOD THING!!!!!!".

What does a Christian look like?

2006-03-22T19:52:00.000-08:00

I've wondered so often how Jesus feels about our politically correct, perfection focused world of today. Does it make Him as sad as it makes me? I've truly come to the conclusion that know matter how hard I try, or don't, I just can't cut it in this world. I will never be good enough to really make it. There will always be someone who chooses to make me feel less than, or just imperfect enough to not fit in. My Mom is in the last stages of Altzheimer's. If you aren't touched by this disease thank your heavenly father because it is evil in it's primal form. She doesn't remember who anyone is, can't feed herself and doesn't even remember how to swallow, and all the other horrible things that come with this enemy. But she dreams. In one of her dreams she woke up saying, "They are singing praises to me, I am goin home, I am going home". You see, she finally knows she'll make it, she's accepted. Throughout her life she struggled with self worth, and now she know's, I'M IN!!!!! Only Jesus can make us feel accepted and unconditionally loved.(Although my puppy Sammy does a pretty good job of making me feel that way!) I'm posting this because of what my son Matt and his lovely girlfriend Jade have been going through. Please remember my loved ones, they are singing your praise's, you are going home!