Blah, yuck, blah

Today is not such a good day. I'm just feeling crummy. No energy, no spark, knees KILLING ME, and overall Blah. I have been living and suffering with osteoarthritis in both my knees now for close to 7 years. I probably had it before that but not to the degree it is now. I need knee replacements in both of them. There is no other option for relief. Joints are gone, bone to bone, etc., etc., etc. There is alot more than one problem with this. There are techniques, new techniques, for replacing knees. New strides, new technology, ..... But none of these last more than 10 years. So, after that no walkey anymore. Not an option for me. So, I live in constant sometimes debilitating pain. I am allergic to all the drugs made for knee pain, celebrex, vioxx, bectra, etc. My joints and hands swell up, not fun. My Doctor tells me not to exercise because it will exasberate my symptoms. The one thing I can do is swim, but not really swim, walk up and down in a pool. I tried that once. There were alot of ladies, should I say alot older ladies than myself who were there. I guess when you get to be alot oler you lose your vanity. They all walked around the dressing room naked. They were very nice and would even talk to me, but that was difficult when all that was going through my head was.,"DO your Boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro, ...!' So I keep on keeping on but it's not fun. It is work, hard work and some days to hard. I'm sure alot of you that know me are thinking, lose weight. Face it people I know, I am fat. I am also post menopausal. That means my body has changed dramatically from 5 years ago. Then I could lose weight from watching my diet, or as that evil word goes "Dieting". Not any more. Now it has to do with EXERCISE. Remember what I said a few sentences back, I can't do that. I'm not even supposed to go upstairs which is a little difficult since my bedroom is up there! I don't feel like I am a vain person. I try to look nice, keep my hair and nails up, dress appropiately, but I'm unacceptable in the main stream because of my weight. People probably perceive me as lazy maybe even stupid. I don't feel I am either of those things, I just hurt, ALOT. I don't usually complain about this but today is a different day. I want those who care to know about me and my life, and those who don't so be it. There are those of you who may think this is a cop-out, or an excuse, but you don't really know me then. I have a good life, a blessed life. A husband of 27 years and counting. You may ask, how did we do it? Commitment and GOD, mostly God. There have been to many ups and downs to even remember but that strength from our Father has kept us together. And our beautiful children. I know all parents are proud of their kids but I have to admit, I have GREAT kids. They are smart, funny, loving, compassionate, realistic and down to earth. They both love the Lord and are commited to Him. They have both gone through school, graduated at the top of their classes, and are now pursuing careers because of their achievements. I Love them both so much and I am so, so proud. And I have a beautiful home, financial security, and a hope of eternity with my Saviour. So, why do I feel crappy today. Oh yea, it's that human thing I just can't get away from it. Is anyone else feeling really HUMAN today, let me know? We can talk about you instead of me and learn more about each other. Till Then..................